The EggLog

A rubber bung is a device generally used for sealing tubes in chemistry. They have to be water-proof and air-tight in order to create a removable lid on the container. They also have to be as unreactive as possible to provide safety when the bung comes into contact with corrosive substances.

The rubber used in order to create these bungs is generally neoprene. this is quite firm so that it seals the end of the tube efficiently, yet soft enough to be inserted in such a way that it gets stuck. This rubber is synthesised rather than collected, which makes it ideal for mass production.

Rubber bungs have been banned in some chemistry labs in schools across the UK recently, due to their impressive size and weight (the perfect size and weight to throw). This has led to some EU legislation restricting the weight of these bungs to 12.5grams. Unfortunately, this has led to most bungs being banned and new ones have been forced to consist of poly(styrene). This is dangerous, as poly(styrene) is light, rigid and mildly reactive, and has forced European chemists to flee to Russia, the U.S.A. and Uzbekistan (where homemade bombs are not only legal, but encouraged).

In 1994, an entire castle was built out of rubber bungs near Brno, Czech Republic, to commemorate the local mayor’s loss of virginity. This was knocked down in 1997 due to riots run by the Flat Earth Society.

White pencils consist of a hollow tube of wood and a core of a white pigment. They are often considered useless by the majority of humanity, but a controversial few argue against this. For example, white pencils can be used for writing or drawing on black or dark-coloured paper. This provides a negative effect.

The structure of a white pencil usually resembles a pipe. On the outside, a cheap form of softwood is fashioned into a tube shape and hollowed out with a drill. This hole is then filled with a strong, soft composite made of bleached sea-shells and chalk (naturally bleached sea-shells). The composite needs to be strong so that it helps the wood maintain its shape, tough so that it doesn’t break when the pencil is dropped and soft so that it leaves a mark on the medium. The wood should be a form of softwood as the pencil will need to be sharpened. In generic pencil manufacture, the cheapest form available is usually used. White pencils are normally mass produced due to demand.

White pencils originated from sticks of chalk, which have been used in art for centuries. Count Raymond Van Brijken of Haavantia came up with a bright idea: coat them with wood to keep the user’s hands clean and make them easily sharpenable.The date in which he invented this is unknown, but the company he created in order to sell his product was officially inaugurated in 1833. This invention is often hailed as the inspiration for lead and graphite based pencils.

It may seem strange that this product is deemed useless by most yet it still enjoys huge demand. This is due to Crayola, whose employees are not part of this large majority and insist on continuing to put these white pencils in their multipacks. The public generally do not want these, of course, but multipacks can only be purchased with these included.

The drawing techniques associated with using white pencils are generally the same as using graphite pencils, except that a darker medium must be used. Recently however, a modern artist used white pencil on white paper, which he called “Black”, and stated:

“It represents my affinity with the world on the whole and shows my happiness that nothing in the world is clear.”

When challenged that this was “daft crap”, he replied:

“Ah! You may find my latest piece, ‘Upside-down Boat in a Toaster Factory’ relevant.”

There is a lot of controversy surrounding the harvesting of sea-shells for a mainly superfluous cause. A leading environmentologist has outlined the problems. He mentioned that “de-shelling” the world’s coastlines will lead to a reduction of rubber bungs in the far future. “Think of your grand-children!” he shouts apoplectically at regular intervals.

The EU have recently been holding talks on whether to ban white pencils and assert their ill-begotten sovereignty yet further. A conclusion has yet to be reached.